So I am training for another marathon

I decided to train for another marathon I want to run in 2020.  Of course COVID 19 is making it impossible to create any sort of plan.  I might not be able to sign up for a marathon and realistically plan for it.  But I can still run. 

All five of my marathons have their own story. I have run five marathons in five different states between the years 2006 and 2019.

My first marathon was simply, "I want to see if I can actually do this."  I ran it K Mart shoes with little to no knowledge on pacing or nutrition.  But I finished, but it was rough. I felt terrible when I crossed the finish line and I said, "Never again."  This was the reason I did not run another one for four years. I also had two babies during that time.

Marathon number two was everything marathon one was not.  It was a chance for myself--the mother of a preschooler, toddler, and infant to take a personal retreat. Everyone has their own idea of self care.  Mine includes running. I ran a marathon in Sacramento and shaved 16 minutes off my time.  I remember crossing Mile #22 thinking, "I still feel okay!"  If any of my medals belong to Rob, this one is his.  I will never know how challenging it was for him to take care of our three children while teaching Sunday School and preaching two sermons in two different services.  Not any man can take that on but my man did.

Marathon number three was eighteen months later.  It was the one and only marathon my whole family attended and watched me cross the finish line.  Although I am pretty sure the youngest who was two and a half at the time was asleep in the stroller.  And she threw up in the car on the way to the starting line. Again my husband is a superstar.  But I PRed again and my whole family was there to see it.

Marathon number four was about two years later and is only marathon (so far) I ran with a family member.  My sister joined me in Minnesota.  We chose not to actually run side by side because I was going for a PR.  Which to this day is my fastest.  I was four minutes shy of breaking four hours.  

Marathon 2019 was another personal retreat but I also had the chance to heal after some very difficult months in 2018. I spent countless long training runs in prayer and sometimes in tears. I ran it in January in beautiful Arizona at the beginning of 2019. I left my burden at the finish lane.

So now I am training for Marathon 6.  This has been my COVID19 run--my "I need to get out of the house or I am going to go insane" type run.  I am having flashbacks to when I trained for Sacramento and desperately needed some time away from the chaos of Planet Toddlers.  What marathon I am doing is not one hundred percent determined yet. It might have to wait until 2021. For now, I will continue training.

Here is my latest video of my reason for running 10 races in 2020...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rYampWxZcs

Something lost. Something gained.

In January of 1999 I had three semesters left of college and I was craving an extended break from my life in West Michigan. I wanted to do a semester abroad in a remote place and study missions. It was a desire I had for about a year.  I was tired of being in large groups of people and maintaining a fast paced schedule that included work, classes, writing papers, field education and eating fast food meals on the fly.  I was tired of my car that kept breaking down. God provided me with an opportunity to go to West Papua, Indonesia for four months. Being with the same people, having a schedule each day, eating healthy, staying active through adventure activities like hiking, and having classes in more of a homeschool format was what I desired. 

 There were of course other stressors that were unique to living in the jungle for four months. Sickness, fatigue, sometimes boredom (we could not leave the mission compound on our own and there were not many places to go), living in a culture extremely different from anything I experienced, safety issues, a language barrier, and feelings of overwhelm. I missed my family, Rob (who was my boyfriend of three months at the time), and friends.  I dealt with disconnect and loneliness on a regular basis.

I think this is why living during the COVID 19 pandemic has brought back memories of my time in Indonesia.  Our lives became much simpler.  I have been mostly with the same four people in my family for two months. Our routines and schedules are simpler.  However, there are other stressors unique to living during a pandemic.  Learning new technology, figuring out how to work and go to school from home, grieving missed activities and events, missing family and friends, and boredom.  There have been bouts of loneliness and anxiety as well.

One of our last weeks in Indonesia our team leader Dave lead a devotional I will never forget.  I have repeated it for groups since that time.  He held up a jar and filled it with candy.  He said this is what we were like when we came into Indonesia.  We had been immersed in American culture and we were entering into a completely different environment.  He hit the jar gently on rocks and talked about how we had been challenged, tossed around, and changed.  He dumped the candy all over the ground.  Then he filled the jar with rocks.  He said that God filled us with new things while in Indonesia.  These were new treasures we would take home. We might feel "different" and "out of place" when we returned to America. Which I found to be true.  I had a panic attack when I was in a crowd of people at the beach in Grand Haven, MI a few weeks after returning home. Mostly related to culture shock. Dave reminded us, "Wherever you are God is."

I am reminded of Galatians 2:20 which was also an important verse to some of us while in Indonesia.  It says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."  The greatest treasure God fills us with Christ.  This new life we find in Christ is not easy.  We might feel "out of place" but wherever we are God is.

We were tossed around during this pandemic. Many things important to us were dumped out and destroyed.  But there were treasures gained.  Rob and I became closer and improved in our communication.  Our children actually fought very little and I loved seeing them spend time together.  They created rituals and routines I hope continue.  I actually watched less TV than normal and listened to podcasts for the first time.  I learned to live in the present and not be overwhelmed by future deadlines and events. This is something I need to remind myself of next fall.  I allowed my body to do the things it responds positively to such as running and biking (miss swimming!).  I also allowed my body to rest and sometimes sleep an extra hour or two.  When the pandemic hit, I think I was sleep deprived.  I allowed myself to express emotions: to grieve, to be angry in a healthy way, to share disappointments, and to sit in uncertainty.  I learned more about emotions in the last year and a half than ever before.

I don't look back at my four months in Indonesia as "fun" like I would look back on a vacation or a road trip with friends.  There were more days I felt burdened by anxiety and overwhelm than days I felt at peace.  But the treasures I gained have shaped every single area of my life.  I have a deep passion for Indonesia because of my time there.

We don't know what our summer will be like.  It will not be normal.  It might be difficult. We might not see what we have gained in the moment or even this summer or even this year.  But God is at work us.  We are his treasures.  Wherever we are, God is.