This morning I was supposed to be bringing my daughter in the wee early morning hours to board a bus that would take her to the Portland International Airport with several other students from her high school. She would then board a plane headed to San Diego and cross the border into Mexico where she would experience her first mission trip as a high school student without one of her parents participating. Although I fully understand why the trip had to be cancelled and I know she is one of many in this situation, it is hard to get over. Sadness keeps creeping up on all of us because of it.
This morning we woke up to snow which is very strange. We get little to no snow in our area during the winter and rarely in March. No one seems that excited about it because of everything else going on in our world right now.
It is difficult to describe what I am experiencing because I never lived through a pandemic. My youngest was born during the Swine Flu (H1N1) epidemic. The hospital took necessary precautions such as allowing only one family member in the delivery room. Anyone under eighteen was not permitted on the maternity ward. Handwashing was encouraged. Magazines were taken out of waiting rooms. We think Rob had H1N1 only days before our youngest was born. He had a high fever and fell ill though he never got tested. He got over it within a few days. I was fortunate enough to get the H1N1 vaccine since I qualified being pregnant. That previous event seems mild and almost "a non-crisis event" compared to this.
I do not remember schools being shut down for days except when blizzard like conditions hit our area. I have never been much of a germaphobe. Now I find myself washing my hands, trying not to touch my face, and hesitant to enter public places. I hate the idea of hunkering down in my house. But I feel safe here. I feel like I am doing my duty to prevent the vulnerable from catching this virus.
I described in my previous blog post about obstacles. I have experienced many of them this year. Some I expected and others were surprises. This does not feel like an obstacle. It feels more like a landslide. Or a train derailment. A disruption. Everything has slowed down or stopped.
I started this week celebrating my 43rd birthday, enjoying the beautiful spring like weather, talking to my daughter about her Mexico trip, and thinking about Spring Break plans. I had no idea how this week would unfold. I am ending the week with my children on Spring Break one week early (although I still have to work next week), my daughter's trip cancelled, and it is hard to make any kind of plans. Especially since many places are closed due to social distancing requirements.
It is hard to know how God will use this experience and what we will gain from it. It is too early too tell. I don't like to make those predictions prematurely.
This week God put the words of the familiar hymn To God Be The Glory on my heart. Especially as I got more exhausted as the week went on. I had to work extra hours due to being short staffed at work due to illnesses. Then the uncertainty of how this virus would affect our workplace hyped some of us up. Then all the cancellations. Now the uncertainties of how long this will last.
But "Great things he has taught us, great things he has done. And great our rejoicing through the Jesus the son." I felt like God was asking me, "Are you going to praise ME during this challenging time? Are you going to rejoice no matter the circumstances?" Because He has done GREAT things. Let us not lose sight of the hope we have in Jesus Christ. He is greater than the disruptions in our lives we are facing these next few weeks.
I do know last night we spent time together as a family. Some of us are anxious. Some of us are overwhelmed. Some of us are disappointed. Some of us are tired. We have not always handled it perfectly and we might get a little stir crazy the next few days. But the care and concern we have had for another is something I am grateful for.
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