We are the COVID 19 teachers

How are we going to virtually teach this fall?  COVID 19 pulled the rug out from our classroom routines and activities. 

The "I can't do this" thoughts are a burden I sometimes carry in tough situations.  It is often other people such as co-workers, friends, and my husband who have more faith in me than I do in myself. In two different instances last year, my supervisor and my husband both told me I am not allowed to say, "I'm done.  I can't do this."

Last year as the summer was concluding, I was preparing to be a preschool teacher. I had the honor and pleasure of being an assistant for two school years to three amazing teachers.  They encouraged me to apply for a teacher position which I was offered that summer.  I had many fears of being the "teacher in charge."  Everything from challenging behaviors to working with difficult staff to doing assessments.  

The first day my preschoolers arrived I was excited yet extremely nervous.  I had several assistants and teachers including my supervisor helping corral children and teaching them the routine.  It felt like herding cats and honestly it was pure chaos.  We even had an escapee child who exited out the classroom door towards the parking lot.  Part of me looked at the day and said: "It can only get better from here.  I can make this work."  Another part of me felt defeated and said, "I can't do this."

Slowly over the next few months teaching preschool became manageable.  Not only manageable it became rewarding.  Then it became fun.  It reminded me of the early days when I did youth ministry.  I loved my job to the point I said, "Wow, it is so great I get paid to this!" My class went from chaotic, anxiety ridden, and unpredictable to an organized chaos of happy and excited children.  There were plenty of challenging days and stressful situations.  I did have a few, "I'm done. I can't do this" moments.  In the end, I was carrying more joy than sorrow. 

When COVID 19 hit in March and shut down our school, it felt sudden and without warning.  We had to think outside of the box and figure out our new role as remote teachers.  It was never a position that existed in our agency.  We were not even working from home prior to COVID.  We tried things that worked and others things that did not work at all.  Only seeing preschoolers via Zoom or looking out their front windows was hard.  Having our end of the year party virtually was the best we were able to do.  I never felt like I properly got to say good-bye.  I still feel an emptiness because of that.  

I think we all assumed COVID 19 would disappear and the new school year would begin in a somewhat normal fashion.  Everything is different.  Sanitizer, temperature checks, masks, separate baskets for each child, reduced class sizes, closed learning areas, less people allowed in the classroom, no circle time are some of the things that changed.  Not to mention some of us teachers don't even has a classroom.  We are virtual teachers and we are treading on new territory.  Whether we will remain this way until November or January or June or even longer is not determined.  Part of me is saying, "This is terrible.  This is not going to work" and the other part of me is saying "This is an adventure.  I really can do this."

We spent a lot of time creating activities to go in learning packets we delivered to their door

When we were hired as teachers we were given a job description.  Obviously virtual teaching, running a classroom during a pandemic and setting up zoom calls were not listed on that description.  Among other things. 

 It is pretty easy to say, "This is not what I signed up for."  But no one signed up for it..  

But what if we saw it as charting through new territory?  Exploring a new way of teaching and perhaps a new way of learning?  Making history as teachers who sought new ways to reach students during a somber time in our country? We are the COVID 19 teachers.  And my friends, we can make this work.