Race Report: Race #2 Small Group Solo 10K

Before COVID-19 I did not understand the point of running a virtual race.  Why run a race by yourself when you could race against other people and be a part of a large event?  My mind was not open to the idea until every single race for the next two months was cancelled.  And I committed to running ten races in 2020 and I do not want to run every single one in the late summer and fall.

Since March was my 10K race month, I decided to create my own virtual 10K race.  I decided my theme would be "The Small Group Run" since three out of the four families in my small group live within running distance. The other family lives in Albany approximately twenty two miles away.  Which running a virtual marathon might work if I can figure out how to get back home.

I started my race at 8 AM with my virtual gun going off in my head.  I was proud of myself that I was able to maintain more of a race pace of approximately nine and half minute miles.  The course was more than hilly than most races I run.  I ran past my first friend's house and she was out on her driveway with her sweet baby cheering me on.  I ran past her house and through one of my favorite parks we had a picnic in on Mother's Day last year.  We also went there on my birthday two weeks ago before this madness started.

 I made it to my next friend's house and she was at her front door with her preschool son cheering for me.  I love races with crowd support because it does propel you towards the finish line.  Honestly having their crowd support was enough for me this morning.  It was welcomed!

Then I ran to the last friend's house and forgot she lives at the top of a large hill.  That was not fun conquering a hill the last mile of my 10K race.  Originally when I mapped it, my 6.2 miles would end in front of her house but Map My Run told me I had 0.2 miles still to go.  I ran to Hillview Park up the street from her house and finished my race there.  Obviously I got first place!

While I ran, I listened to a playlist I created on iTunes I named, "Hope For This Time" and I listened to inspirational songs.  I listened to Chris Tomlin's song "God of the City" which I have not listened to in a very long time. This song became meaningful to me when I went on a mission trip to Philadelphia with our church in 2010.  We sang it in the worship service with the people from Philly in which we worked with.

This part of the song really struck a chord with me:

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city

We have lived in our city for over thirteen years.  We have invested in this community.  We have watched our church evolve and change and minister to many people over the years.  We have said good-bye to people who left their earthly homes and we have welcomed numerous children who have grown into young men and women.  We have walked with people through tragic events.  We have waded through uncertain times that tore us apart before it brought us back together.  Not having as much connection now but still reaching out and caring for "the flock" is burdensome.  More so for my husband than for me.  Please if you have not already done so--pray for your pastor.

Someone asked me this week:  "Who is caring for the pastor if he is taking care of the flock?"  That made me think about how grateful I am for Joey and Robyn at 10 10 Ministries who checked in with us this week as well.  They have their own flock they are caring for and I am grateful to be part of that flock of ministry couples waded through this crazy time in our world.

I thought of my own job as well.  Since I started working for an agency three years ago that helps people in impoverished situations, I have seen "the other sides of the city."  I did not have as much exposure to this when I was a stay at home mom.  Since the COVID-19 epidemic hit, this portion of our city has been  hit just as hard--if not harder.  My heart breaks as I think of the needs I cannot meet.

God is the author of our hope and our salvation.  He fuels us with strength we can find right now in the midst of a tragedy.  I do not know how long this all going to last.  I wish I had a date.  A time frame.  A good estimate.  I have to limit myself from the news, statistics, and social media at times during this crisis because it feeds my anxiety.

God brings restoration.  The hope we can find in Christ is unlike any other kind of hope we can grasp on to during this time.  Greater things are yet to come.

Running Is Not Cancelled Even If Races Are!

Countless running races have been cancelled in both March and April and now more in May and even June.  Crowds, runners aligning together, used cups at aid stations etc. poses too many risks for COVID-19.  They might be able to cancel races but they cannot cancel running...at least not yet. Hopefully not at all. We can still leave our homes and go for a run. 

Even though I am an extrovert by nature, I am more of an introverted runner.  I like to run alone and I crave the solo time and the ability to be lost in my own thoughts.

The running community has gotten pretty creative when it has come to races.  I am part of a few different running and triathlon Facebook groups.  Someone's marathon got canceled so she ran 26.2 miles on her own around an indoor track!  That is serious dedication.  Another person made their own "hometown race" and asked neighbors and friends to be her cheering section and aid station.

I was supposed to run a 10K last Saturday.  My plan was do a 5K trail run with my son in April.  Those plans were thrown out the window. When I decided back in December to run ten races in 2020, I had no idea a portion of 2020 would not have any running races to participate in!

So my plan for a March race is to do "a small group run" on Friday morning.  We have been blessed with a small group at our church that has been meeting for several years.  We have seen one another through new babies added to our families, job changes, mental struggles, moving to different homes, health  concerns, and much more.  Aside from one family, we all live in the same area of town.  Which is a tremendous blessing.  When we first moved here in 2006, there were very few families from our church in our neighborhood. 

I will be running from my house to one family's house, to the next family's house and ending at another family's house.  I mapped it out and it is 6.2 miles.  I will time myself too.  Though the timing might be off because of stoplights and I was told Map My Run is not totally accurate.  I am looking forward to completing this solo race.

This is my second race of ten for 10 10 Ministries.    April's race could be just as interesting...I am already thinking of some themes.

Our Sign Off Time

I was trying to come up with a single image to describe the times we are living in.  The picture above is what I came up with.

When I was young child in the 1980's, I used to love to page through the TV Guide.  This was one of the only ways to figure out what was actually on TV.  There was no live streaming, Netflix, or on-air guides, and of course no Internet.  I remember seeing a show listed, "Sign off" and it was three hours long.  I said to my dad, "What kind of show is sign off?  It is three hours long."  To which my dad explained that some of the channels shut down in the middle of the night and do not show any programming until the early morning.  It was too expensive to show programs twenty four/seven.  We never saw the channel "sign off" because it was long after we went to bed.

This is exactly how I feel our lives currently are. We had to "sign off" our normal everyday lives as many things shut down or cancelled around us.  It is strange to look at my April calendar and not have a single thing to put on it except for Good Friday and Easter which I may in fact celebrate in my own home.

After I get over the initial frustration that "our sign off period" keeps getting extended (Oregon schools now will not open until April 28th and it could be even longer), I am learning to think outside the box and look at the whole picture.  I can still run outside.  I can still go to the park.  I have more time for hobbies.  I can read books.  I can connect with friends and family by technology.  I am getting more sleep. Our family is caring for each other.  I want to make some videos for work.  There is more.

Though I do not handle the disappointment perfectly and honestly this has not been easy, I think some of us might gain something from it.  Even if we do not know what it is right now.  Let's allow our hearts to open to God's wisdom and providence.

Life Disruptions

This morning I was supposed to be running in the Salem Paddy Pint 10K in downtown Salem.  Like many races including larger ones like the Portland Shamrock and the Boston Marathon, mine too was postponed due to the corona virus pandemic.

This morning I was supposed to be bringing my daughter in the wee early morning hours to board a bus that would take her to the Portland International Airport with several other students from her high school.  She would then board a plane headed to San Diego and cross the border into Mexico where she would experience her first mission trip as a high school student without one of her parents participating.  Although I fully understand why the trip had to be cancelled and I know she is one of many in this situation, it is hard to get over.  Sadness keeps creeping up on all of us because of it.

This morning we woke up to snow which is very strange.  We get little to no snow in our area during the winter and rarely in March.  No one seems that excited about it because of everything else going on in our world right now.

It is difficult to describe what I am experiencing because I never lived through a pandemic. My youngest was born during the Swine Flu (H1N1) epidemic.  The hospital took necessary precautions such as allowing only one family member in the delivery room.  Anyone under eighteen was not permitted on the maternity ward.  Handwashing was encouraged.  Magazines were taken out of waiting rooms.  We think Rob had H1N1 only days before our youngest was born.  He had a high fever and fell ill though he never got tested.  He got over it within a few days.  I was fortunate enough to get the H1N1 vaccine since I qualified being pregnant.  That previous event seems mild and almost "a non-crisis event" compared to this.

  I do not remember schools being shut down for days except when blizzard like conditions hit our area.  I have never been much of a germaphobe.  Now I find myself washing my hands, trying not to touch my face, and hesitant to enter public places.  I hate the idea of hunkering down in my house.  But I feel safe here.  I feel like I am doing my duty to prevent  the vulnerable from catching this virus.

I described in my previous blog post about obstacles.  I have experienced many of them this year.  Some I expected and others were surprises.  This does not feel like an obstacle.  It feels more like a landslide. Or a train derailment. A disruption. Everything has slowed down or stopped. 

  I started this week celebrating my 43rd birthday, enjoying the beautiful spring like weather, talking to my daughter about her Mexico trip, and thinking about Spring Break plans. I had no idea how this week would unfold.  I am ending the week with my children on Spring Break one week early (although I still have to work next week), my daughter's trip cancelled, and it is hard to make any kind of plans.  Especially since many places are closed due to social distancing requirements.  

It is hard to know how God will use this experience and what we will gain from it.  It is too early too tell.  I don't like to make those predictions prematurely.  

This week God put the words of the familiar hymn To God Be The Glory on my heart.  Especially as I got more exhausted as the week went on.  I had to work extra hours due to being short staffed at work due to illnesses.  Then the uncertainty of how this virus would affect our workplace hyped some of us up. Then all the cancellations. Now the uncertainties of how long this will last.

 But "Great things he has taught us, great things he has done.  And great our rejoicing through the Jesus the son."  I felt like God was asking me, "Are you going to praise ME during this challenging time?  Are you going to rejoice no matter the circumstances?"  Because He has done GREAT things.  Let us not lose sight of the hope we have in Jesus Christ.  He is greater than the disruptions in our lives we are facing these next few weeks.

I do know last night we spent time together as a family.  Some of us are anxious.  Some of us are overwhelmed.  Some of us are disappointed.  Some of us are tired.  We have not always handled it perfectly and we might get a little stir crazy the next few days.  But the care and concern we have had for another is something I am grateful for.  

Winter Running Update

  I spent a good part of the weekend in Tacoma for a basketball tournament with my son's school.  We are not a sports family that devotes our weekends to travel teams and sports tournament.  It is not "us." With our children in a small private school where sports are encouraged and open to everyone, we get a small taste of multi-day tournaments in a different city.  It has been a positive experience for all our children to learn the rules of a sport and teamwork skills even if they do not play after middle school.

Many of us parents mingled on the bleachers between games and sat together at the all team spaghetti feed.  A few asked me, "Have you been running?" or "How is your racing going?" Which really makes me happy that many "nun-runners" still take a interest. I shared with many the short answer.  Here's the longer version:

My running and racing plans always morph and change sometimes last minute.  Which is why I always seem to sign up for races late and miss the early bird deadlines.  Originally when I began this running journey of ten races in 2020, I had planned on doing a full marathon in the spring.  I ran a half in December and beat my original time.  My training was already halfway there.  However God is teaching me that there are many events we cannot plan for and we have to navigate through them.  Changing plans is OK and sometimes necessary.

I have gotten three major colds since mid December.  Due to my work and family demands I almost always exercise in the early morning hours like around 5 AM.  When I am sick, I need sleep to recover.  So I forgo the early morning workouts or do not exercise at all.  This means I have had one or two good weeks on and then one week of nothing.  I fell like I not have not  had any consistency since early December.

I also dealt with an increased amount of stress after Christmas Break that was off an on until a few weeks ago.  Running actually helps with stress.  I feel like it helps "re-organize" my brain.  My emotions dissipate and I can think clearly after a good workout.  Sometimes the excess amount of stress makes everything feel overwhelming even the things I enjoy.  Finding workout clothes, lacing up my shoes and going for a short run feels like a chore equivalent to cleaning the whole house.

The good news is if you have been exercising regularly, you are not starting from scratch when you pick it back up again.  It is probably better for me to do a fall or early winter marathon because I tend to have more time for longer runs in the summer.  Fall is one of my favorite times to run anyway.  So I am trying to be more open and less anxiety-ridden about plans being derailed.  If that is something I am gaining from this journey, than that is another win.

We had a pretty great weekend and enjoyed stunning views of Mount Rainier on the drive up.  Not so much on the ride home because it is rainy.

Race Report: Be My Muddy Valentine

Be My Muddy Valentine
5K Obstacle Course Race
Time = 57:33

On Saturday, February 15th I conquered several obstacles and waded through piles of mud compling the Be My Muddy Valentine Obstacle Course 5K at Lee Farms in Tualatin.  It was my first race of 2020.  One of ten.

Needless to say my morning did not go according to planned.  My son was supposed to do the race with me.  We did it together in 2018 and 2017 and were looking forward to spurring one another through the challenging course.  A nasty throaty feverish cold went through our house this week and he got hit the hardest Friday late afternoon.  Also both years we were blessed with sunny warm-like conditions and zero rain.  I woke up Saturday morning to pouring rain and cooler temperatures.  The rain was supposed to continue throughout the whole morning into the afternoon.

 I honestly did not want to go.  Last week I worked extra hours and I found my mind still partially there in the evening hours when I returned home.  I wanted to be with my family on a blustery Saturday morning cozying up at home.  Now I would be gone the entire morning racing solo.  My husband reminded me I used quite a bit of spending money to run this race.  Which is true.  Obstacle course races tend to cost more than regular running races.  The frugal part of me (which is partially to blame on my stubborn Dutch heritage) could not justify wasting that money to stay home.

As I drove forty-five minutes to Tualatin, God kept putting the word "obstacles" on heart.  There have been many blessings in my life the past few months.  I could count them one by one and make a gratitude list.  However, there have been plenty of obstacles in both my working and personal life.  Some I expected. Others I was ill prepared for.

I was reminded of crossing the obstacles in life as I crossed the first obstacles of my race.  I began my race with a wave of about twenty other men and women. Starting the race, we ran along a mix of dirt trail mixed with some rocks.  This was not difficult for me at all. At one point I was at the front of the pack.  I could tell I had more running training than most of the group.

 One of the first major obstacles is two large walls approximately nine to ten feet tall with a slight incline.  Runners must gain speed and run up the wall "parkour style" and climb back down.  My son can always make it over the wall on his first try.  Children naturally climb when they play. Their bodies are also more flexible.  As we creep into our forties, our bodies lose their flexibility and balance.  I think our brains also have a built in fear of "What if I get hurt badly" whereas children go both feet forward and consider the consequences later.  It always takes me an extra try or two to get over.  This time with the wet and extra muddy conditions, it was not looking good for me.  I tried and barely got a couple feet up the wall and could not grasp the top.  Some younger twenty somethings who caught up to me said, "Do you want to get over the wall?"  To which I replied, "Yes, can you help me?"  They nodded.

We counted, "1-2-3" and one lifted me by the foot and the other grabbed my arms.  I hoisted my body over.  I stayed at the top of the wall and helped the next person over.  We repeated the procedure on the second wall.  It was like this throughout the whole course.  Another person and I lifted a tire together because we knew we did not have the capabilities to lift it alone.  We guided each other through the muddy swamp and encouraged one another as we tackled a rope climb.  I would rather had my son to team up with, but I was grateful for the people in my wave.

It reminded me of many obstacles we faced in the ministry and in our personal lives.  We had to open ourselves up  to people that could get us over our own walls--sometimes people we would least expect.  Of course God was with us and showed us His unconditional love and grace.  He provided us with people to walk with us through those obstacles. Here are a few examples:

When my youngest was a baby she became quite sick with bronchiolitis.   Rob had to go to California leaving me behind with a preschooler, toddler, and a very sick baby.  A friend in my church who was single at the time probably had better things to do on a Friday night like go out with her friends.  Instead she chose to hold my sick baby to give me a break.  She put my preschooler to bed.  She sat on the couch and watched the Winter Olympics with me because I had little energy to do much else.

Two years ago we were walking through a difficult time in our ministry.  Due to confidentiality needs and people desiring space to heal, I could not draw much support from friends at church.  This is something that is never easy but sometimes necessary when you are the pastor or pastor's spouse.  It can be lonely and sometimes end a ministry, but thankfully it was only a season in our lives.  God provided us with Joey and Robyn from 10 10 Ministries who walked with us and helped us move from Point A to Point B.  We were blessed we had met them the summer prior before everything occurred.  We had instant support that we did not have to go searching for.  God also provided me with supportive co-workers which made my workplace a refuge from the challenges of my personal and church life.  This is something I have not always had.  More often it has been the opposite.

On Sunday Rob preached from Romans 12 and I was reminded of verse 15:  "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those of who mourn."

Who is helping you over your obstacles?  How can you open your heart to receiving their support?

On How We Spend Our Time: Protecting the Inner Circle

When Rob and I met Joey and Robyn in June of 2017 on a 10 10 marriage retreat, we talked about the work/rest rhythm and protecting quality time with one another...and our family.  It has been a slow growth process for me.  I am coming off a few weeks where I feel like "the train derailed."  I spent the last week surveying the damage, cleaning up the wreckage and putting the train back on the track.

I was reminded of last summer.  I love the beginning of summer because it is a blank sheet of paper to sketch our hopes and dreams for the next twelve weeks.  We have created "Summer Bucket Lists" on whiteboards and mentally in our minds.  Last year in early June the Oregon rain dissipated and the sky opened up to a warm summer-like sun.  Our family biked and skateboarded to the park a stone's throw from our house as we typically do on Sunday afternoons in the spring and summer.  My son who was eleven at the time prefers to venture into the woods and climb trees versus utilize the play equipment.  He was overlooking Pringle Creek which is an urban flow of streams that go through several of our parks and neighborhoods.

My son and I began tracing in our minds where the creek flows to.  We had run across the same creek in a different park a few years ago when we were training for an obstacle course race.  Then my son had this grand idea, "Let's follow the creek as far as we can.  We can put on old shoes and walk through it and see where it leads."

This was the one activity he wanted to do with me in the summer.  It was simple and did not cost us anything.  We did not even have to drive anywhere.  However, there always seems to be a hundred obstacles getting in the way of doing the simplest and most meaningful activities with the ones we care about.

 I do not work many hours in the summer so I could not even use my job as an excuse.  You know how it goes.  The laundry, organizing the middle closet, and summer education course takes precedence.  Not to mention the time suckers that demand our attention like social media and addictive reality TV shows.Guilty!  But I was sorting laundry while I was watching it!  Still guilty. Then of course the conversation in my head:  "Amy you are not working this summer.  You have extra time to volunteer at church. You can organize A, B, C, and D.  You could serve on another committee."

You move, you push, you create your long to-do list and your goal is to disappoint nobody. You have a clean house with folded laundry. You organized the whole attic top to bottom. You completed your second to the last education course for your associates degree with a decent grade.  You teach VBS and do a pretty stellar job. You plan a youth group whitewater rafting and hiking adventure.

 The truth is we usually disappoint the ones we care about the most.  Because late August comes and you still have not done the one thing you promised to do with your son.

 So on one of the last days of summer, I told my son, "Let's do it!  Let's go creek walking!"  We strap on old shoes and we walk a half mile down the road and enter the creek at the baseball field near our house.  We are in a tree covered canopy as we step from one slippery rock to the next.  We keep commenting, "It is hard to believe we are in our neighborhood."  We feel like we have been transported to a rural forest miles away.

My mind has been transported too.  I am fully present with my son.  Not dwelling on the house work that needs to be done, or the orientation meeting at my daughter's school I have to go that evening, or the fact I go back to work in three days. Not even dwelling on what bacteria might be in the water or the fact we might be trespassing through other people's backyards.  That has all been put up on a shelf and I don't need to take it out and examine it at that moment.  For the record we did get yelled at by a cranky elderly man to get off his property even though I believe the creek is technically city property.

Shauna Niequist in her book Present Over Perfect (which is on the 10 10's recommended reading list) says the following about disappointing others:

“Picture your relationships like concentric circles: the inner circle is your spouse, your children, your very best friends.  Then the next circle out is your extended family and good friends.  Then people you know, but not well, colleagues, and so on to the outer edge. Aim to disappoint the people at the center as rarely as possible.  And then learn to be more comfortable with disappointing the people who lie at the edge of the circle—people you’re not as close to, people who do not and should not require your unflagging dedication.” (55)

I am reminded of this memory on this rain soaked still-winter-not-quite-spring Saturday morning in early February.  When work demands increased triple-fold.  When church responsibilities still linger.  When housework needs to be completed.  When I really should exercise because I neglected it all week.  When there is a pile of emails I still have not responded to.  I am going to lay that aside and put it on a shelf.  Instead I am going to sit and eat homemade cinnamon rolls with my family and talk about future summer vacations.  Tonight I am going to see a movie with my husband.  I am not going to disappoint my inner circle this weekend.